Crossroads
by Miss Soupy
Summary: oneshot The war ended and now Orihime must decide where her life will go from here. Luckily, she finds out she isn't the only one who fears tomorrow. UlquiHime


A/N: Gah, I really hope they aren't too out of character. I had this plot bunny bothering me and I wrote it out pretty fast. Beware of hand-holding fetish

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**Crossroads**

Orihime rocked back on her heels as a large body (huge bust included) knocked against her for placement at the small table the girl had been sitting at.

"Come on Baldy!" Rangiku yelled, her cheeks red and her eyes holding mirth as her elbow clattered onto the table. "Leave Ichigo alone already. You can fight me!"

She could smell the alcohol on the other woman's breath and couldn't help but laugh when Ikkaku's face was drained of its confidence as he was ushered to the opposite side of the table. A crowd began to move in; shinigami, vizard, and human laughed, yelled, and squabbled together like real friends. It was an occurrence that Orihime thought she may never see again. But the war was over, thank goodness, and no one was worrying about the next morning.

Rising, she moved away, allowing those with more interest to gather around. Yumichika was laughing shrilly, while Hisagi stared glumly at Rangiku. Orihime could hear Hitsugaya sigh, and when she turned to look at him, he shook his head and muttered something inaudible under his breath.

Yes, it was a good night to be alive. The past didn't matter because these were all people who fought side-by-side _today_.

Orihime smiled as Shinji teased Renji, as Love hit Sado's shoulder fondly with his fist, and as Hiyori screamed complaints at Urahara. This was how things should always be, she thought to herself. If only they could.

She knew the morning would come, and when it did, everything would go back to how it had been. The vizards would once again become outcasts, and, as previously, Soul Society would condemn them. And as for her friends and herself, well, they would surely have an eye or two kept upon them. Soul Society couldn't take a chance with them, especially considering their abnormal abilities. Their hands had been in the war too, and that had been tolerated because their strength was needed, but in peace time, there would be no need to allow them to go about freely using their powers.

She still held some hope, however, for tonight was also the night where things could be openly said. It was now or never, and she too felt this pull, the pull to reveal her heart. It was a night of revelations as much as it was a time of celebration and remembrance. And there was Ichigo, alone for a moment as he stood against a wall. He looked weary, as they all did, and he was wearing his trademark small smile.

Orihime took a breath, pressing a hand over her heart as she tried to calm her nerves.

_If I don't do it now, I may never do it._

She took a step, and then another, and another. Her heartthumped with each step_,_ louder and louder the closer she got, but she kept walking until she had made it to him.

Orihime looked up as Ichigo looked down, and she parted her lips to awkwardly utter, "Um, hi Kurosaki-kun." She twisted her hands about each other anxiously, wishing she still held that drink Rangiku had given her.

The boy leaned away from the wall and ran a hand through his spiky hair. "Ah, hey Inoue. Was it getting too loud over there?" He inclined his head towards the table where Rangiku seemed to be crushing Ikkaku's arm under hers.

"Mm," she nodded with a smile, also directing her attention to the crowd, "They really are having fun. It's nice."

"I think they have too much fun," he said dryly, his eyes shifting back to look at her. "Anyways, I bet you are happy to be home, right?"

She nodded quickly, her eyes scrunched up to hide her nervousness. "Oh yes! I was thinking of redecorating my apartment to celebrate. Maybe paint the walls something nice, like yellow and purple, or bright green, or just splotch a bunch of colors there and move my furniture around."

Ichigo blinked and laughed nervously, "W-well, yeah that might be…nice."

"Things are different now, that's all, so I thought I should try to make my home reflect it," she tried to explain and was glad to see his eyes soften.

"Yeah, you're right. That's probably a good idea, Inoue."

She shifted her feet and bit her lip before glancing to the side anxiously, "Changes are good, sometimes, so I wanted to-"

"Oi, Ichigo!"

Both teens looked up to see Rukia and Renji motioning frantically; it seemed Rangiku was going to take on Kensei next.

"Just a sec Inoue, I'm going to see what those idiots want…" Ichigo told her distractedly, stomping over to the other side of the room. He passed her by and she uttered a faint, "Alright…" but knew it hadn't been heard by the substitute shinigami.

Orihime sighed and moved away. Winding her way around bodies, she moved towards a large man in a suit.

"Hachi-san, do you mind if I get some air?" she asked somewhat loudly (Shinji was playing his jazz music fairly loud now). She smiled up at the vizard that had become her mentor.

His mouth moved up under his pink mustache as he smiled back, "Of course Orihime-chan, though I know you needn't ask. You can slip past my barriers quite easily if you wished." He winked and Orihime gave him a sheepish shrug.

"I wanted to be polite."

Waving, she left the man and party behind and slipped out the door, past the veil-like barrier around the building, into the cool night air. She only felt a little dazed; Rangiku had forced one drink on her, even against her protests. Somehow she had known Orihime needed some liquid courage. It had been something sweet, and she had giggled for quite awhile at a joke Shunsui had told the girls nearby because of it.

Well, at least she had tried. Her heart felt numb and she accepted the feeling gladly. Numbness was better than whatever else she could feel.

It was a cool night, but not as cold as it had been. Orihime thought gleefully that she could smell spring approaching. Soon her dreams of summer nights would be reality, and the winter would be far behind them.

Yes, things would soon be back to normal.

Oddly, she felt her smile falter at this thought and the chill of the evening sent goose bumps up her arms. Tomorrow she could go into her apartment and tear out that page she had left because it hadn't really been good bye after all. She rubbed her chilled arms with her warm palms and looked up at the waning moon. It had been such a horrible feeling, knowing she was leaving her home for good, but now when she thought of it, she felt foolish. A lot had happened since then, but it was not all unwanted change that had occurred.

"I'm glad I went, after all," she said to no one, a small sad smile on her lips. "And I'm glad everyone can be together for today." _Even if not everyone is here today._

Her eyes fell away from the sky and she looked out to the street in front of the building behind her. As her eyes swept over the deserted area; something across the street caught her attention, and she took a few steps to get a better look.

Orihime felt as if the wind was knocked out of her as she realized what she was seeing. At the other end of the crosswalk was none other than the 4th espada.

A door closed behind her as someone came out of the vizard's building to join her.

"Inoue-san?" a voice called, twice, because she had been too stunned to hear it the first time.

Orihime turned, shock written upon her face as she looked at a curious Ishida.

His brows furrowed seeing her face and he asked immediately, "Is something wrong?"

Her heart was pounding, _loudly_, and she sputtered and pointed, "Across the street there, is that…is that…" She couldn't finish, his name was planted boldly in her mind but her mouth couldn't form the words.

The Quincy was already inspecting the direction in which she pointed, pushing up his glasses as he scanned the area. "I…don't see anything Inoue-san..what exactly should I be looking for?"

Orihime blinked, her arm still pointing right where Ulquiorra currently was standing, white robes and all. Ishida was definitely looking right at him, unseeingly apparently, but looking. Slowly, Orihime lowered her arm and laughed apologetically.

"Oh, haha! Well, never mind Ishida-kun! I, er, thought I saw a bat fly by just now!" She brought a hand across the back of her hair, smiling shakily as Ishida turned to look at her.

"A…bat?"

"Of course I might have been seeing things!"

"Perhaps…well, I saw you leave and I just wanted to make sure you were alright." He admitted, looking at her. It was the look some of her nakama gave her now, as if she would disappear if they weren't careful. She couldn't be mad for she would have done the same for them had it been the other way around.

Orihime gave the Quincy a reassuring smile. "I'm fine Ishida-kun, I just wanted to have a moment to myself."

The boy nodded in understanding and returned her smile. "Ah, then I will go back inside and let you be."

"I won't be long. Thank you Ishida-kun." She felt she was saying thank you and sorry more often than ever.

As soon as he had left, she felt her gaze slowly move back to the opposite side of the street. She had been expecting to find the spot empty; surely, it had to have been a trick of the light if Ishida hadn't seen it. But there he still stood, in exactly the same position.

_What was in that drink Rangiku-san gave me anyways? _She wondered, bewildered and yet she felt the thump of her heart quicken.

Unsure of what she should do, she was about to turn her head when she saw him move. Bright green eyes were slowly hidden behind pale eyelids before he opened his eyes once more and stepped carefully towards the road.

Ok, she definitely wasn't crazy. Everything about the way he moved screamed Ulquiorra. He always did posess an amazing combination of aloofness and precision. When he reached the road, he tore his eyes away from hers to look in both directions.

Orihime blinked. _Safety first, I suppose._

Once he had deduced all was clear, he stepped into the street moving purposefully towards her. He did not stop until he was only a few feet away from her, his eyes eerily green illuminated with the fluorescent lamplight. She looked up at him, and he looked down at her.

"Woman."

Her face broke out into a drawn look at the sound of his voice, and she immediately began waving her arms before her. "Ah! Ulquiorra's ghost, please forgive me! I tried, I promise I did, but I couldn't heal him-um..you..er..him." She squeezed her eyes and resigned herself to her fate. "I guess, if you have to haunt me, I can live with that…it's the least I can do to make up for what happened. It might actually be fun having a ghost around…"

Ulquiorra blinked. "What are you talking about? I am not a ghost; if I were, wouldn't the Quincy have been able to see me just now?"

She stood still a moment, thinking that he was right. He seemed to see the next question forming on her mind for he raised his arm, showing her his wrist where a thin bracelet hung loosely. "I believe you remember this device."

"Oh!" she said, nodding at the recollection, "Yes, it's the bracelet that made me invisible to everyone but the arrancar. But…why can I see you?"

He dropped his arm, placing his hand in its usual position within his pocket. "The explanation I gave you about this device was not complete. Truthfully, all those who understand its ability are not affected. Before I gave it to you, only the arrancar knew of its ability and, therefore, only they could see those using it. Since you have also used it, you are now immune as well."

Her mouth made an 'o', and her eyes traveled up the sinewy body of the arrancar until she met his eyes once more. Orihime had to admit he had the nicest eyes out of anyone else she knew.

For a moment both were silent, merely looking at each other without knowing what to say. She shifted anxiously under his gaze and bit her lip. There was so much she wanted to ask, so much she wanted to say, but no words would come. Ulquiorra's gaze left her to rest upon the vizards' secret base, his eyes showing unease.

"We were having a party," she explained, looking at the building also.

His voice came softly inquiring, "What is the occasion?"

Orihime thought he must know deep down, but she answered, "The end of the war. Aizen was defeated."

He tilted his head, his ebony hair nudging against the bridge of his nose. "I see."

She watched him, wondering how he must have felt, and then decided to ask, "Do you feel sad Aizen is gone?"

"Not really," he replied, his eyes shifting towards her in a sideways glance. "I obeyed Aizen, but truthfully, I cared about nothing. If he won, that was fine. If he lost, that also was fine."

"Ah, that's right," she said thoughtfully, a thin finger at her chin in remembrance. This time he turned to look pointedly at her as she explained, "Nihilism. One of the shinigami told me about the espada and…what they stood for."

He looked at her deeply then, as if surprised she knew this at all, but perhaps also relieved she did. Ulquiorra held out his hand suddenly and Orihime looked at it for a moment, unsure.

"Shall we leave this place? I feel uneasy at the closeness of all of my former enemies."

"Oh," she said, startled, but she smiled understandingly at him a moment later, "Alright." Her hand slipped into his, and in that moment she was hit with the size of this act. The only time she had previously touched him had been when she slapped him, and now she was holding hands with her former jailer.

_We are both so different now_, she realized as they walked hand in hand. He held her hand loosely, as if he was partly afraid of his own actions, but she didn't mind. Orihime was just glad that he was whole and even more so that they didn't seem to be enemies any longer.

Spring was near, but the winter chill still lingered, causing most people to remain indoors. It was better that there were no people around, however, as otherwise they might have seen Orihime's hand extended into empty space. Eventually, the two came upon a tiny run-down park and stopped at a bench. Orihime sat and beckoned to the arrancar who remained standing in unease; he looked around quickly and then he too sat, though a good distance away from her. Still, his hand did not relent hers and he seemingly had forgotten it was even there.

"It is odd. I need not be afraid here and yet old habits of looking over my shoulder remain." Ulquiorra said faintly, his eyes dark as he looked into the night.

Orihime's attention was still on their entwined hands, her thoughts skipping ahead as they sometimes did. She wanted to tell him this was something _couples_ did, but would he understand that? She had never held hands with a boy before, and this seemingly small thing was huge for a girl of 16, even if she was not _quite_ a normal teenager. But she didn't speak after all, for when she looked to his face again, she felt pity at the lost expression he held.

"Are you cold, Ulquiorra? I should have asked you sooner and maybe I could have borrowed someone's coat. I'm not very good at thinking of these things, and you are from the desert so you might not be used to this kind of temperature." She looked truly apologetic as she spoke, even if she had the completely wrong idea. Ulquiorra found himself both exasperated and yet somehow warmed by her words.

But even so, he sighed deeply and said, "You are the most frustrating being I have ever known, and I am old enough to have known my fair share of them."

His eyes were less cold than they usually were, and she was fairly sure he hadn't meant it in a harsh way. Still she apologized, "I-I'm sorry."

She felt him squeeze her hand tighter as if worried she had been offended, so she smiled with her eyes so that he continued, "I had expected a different reaction from you, that is all, but I should have known better than to guess what you would do. You always are full of surprises, aren't you, woman?"

Orihime shrugged sheepishly, her lip in a slight pout as she said, "I don't _mean_ to, it just happens! And I was really anxious, truthfully. I wanted to ask you so many things but…I didn't know if I _deserved_ to." She fiddled with her hair, looping it around a finger of her free hand nervously.

Ulquiorra blinked, his beautiful green eyes closing slowly and then opening to look at her and then said, "Deserve? Surely you do not blame yourself, woman. That would be foolish."

She bit her lip and looked at her lap, her eyes downcast and her mouth thin.

Ulquiorra sighed again at her actions, and his voice was quiet as he said, "It never crossed my mind to blame you, so do not think of it."

Worry still shone in her eyes as she looked at him again and replied, "But I couldn't save you! I failed you, Ulquiorra, and I…I think you needed me then."

"Do not think of it," he said again, his voice hard so that she would listen. "You saved me in a way you do not realize, and that is enough."

Her eyes widened and fell to his chest in wonder. Seeing her look, he brought his hand up and moved the zipper down to reveal flesh. Flesh and nothing else.

"A-amazing," she gaped, her hand instinctively moving to touch the spot, feeling for herself that he was whole where once he had been hollow. Ulquiorra watched her eyes as they lit up with awe, their depths showing relief as well. Never before had someone felt joy for him, and it stirred something within him.

"I was somewhat unsure about what had happened. I was afraid I hadn't read you right at all, in the end," she said mystified as she looked at the spot where his hollow hole had been. "When you reached for me, I thought you were saying you wanted my help, but I couldn't be positive. I tried to heal you too, but-" her voice broke off a moment and then she continued, "But you didn't need me to heal your body, did you?"

When her eyes returned to his, she saw he held no blame towards her, so she shed the guilt she had held ever since they parted. She released a slow breath as the weight fell away, and her heart lifted seeing him as he was. And she had had a part in it, like he had said. No healing had ever made her feel so happy; nothing had ever made her feel so strong. It was one thing to heal a body, but it was true power to heal a _heart_, and she felt true pride in herself that she had done it.

"I'm glad you are alright," she confided somewhat shyly, though the night hid the color in her cheeks. Her face melted into wonder the next second and she asked, "Then, why did you find me, Ulquiorra?" _Why have you come back?_

He was silent a moment, looking away as he drew his thoughts to him and she waited patiently at his side. Ulquiorra leaned away from the bench distractedly and stared at the moon.

"I am unsure of myself, and I did not know of any other I could speak to of this. You have always answered me truthfully, and, even more so, because you have had a hand in my…_change_, I thought it would be pertinent to ask you. Truthfully I," he paused, flicking his eyes in her direction a moment, "…trust you, and your judgement."

Orihime, hearing this, held her breath at the compliment and waited for him to continue. "I don't know what to do now. I have never been free to choose, nor have I ever cared to be before now. What then, would you do in my position?"

Finally he looked at her face, his eyes seemed oddly open in a way she had only seen them once before: when he was fading into nothing. Orihime leaned back and thought about his question. It was a heavy one, she knew, and wanted to answer him to the best of her ability. But it was also a difficult one, and she wasn't sure she knew the right answer.

She understood him, though, what he meant and why he needed to know. Both of them had changed so much; changed each other even. It was as if…as if they had been meant to meet all along, as if their roads were destined to cross and had now intertwined to a point where they could not be separated. It would explain the ease with which they were talking to one another when they most certainly _shouldn't_ have been sitting together like old friends.

"Like the rain connects the earth and sky…like the sky connects the sun and moon," she murmured, her voice distant, as were her eyes, as if she grasped at some profound truth that was hard to hold and yet was apart of them both.

Ulquiorra said nothing, but his lips were slightly quirked in wonder as he watched her struggle for an answer.

"This must have been how the vizard felt when they were kicked out of Soul Society, but then they always had their revenge to work towards. Now what do they have to look toward besides perhaps Soul Society turning their eyes upon them. And the shinigami who once called them friend…what will they do if forced to fight their old comrades? But they will still want to be loyal to Soul Society…" she tucked her hair behind her ear, her face full of worry, "And even us humans…we were needed in the war, but now that it is over, what will Soul Society think of us? I suppose we are all wondering what to do with our lives now, wondering what tomorrow will bring and if we…will do the right thing. If we have learned enough." She sighed and rubbed her arm with one hand even though she was truthfully not cold. "I suppose I would say to do what makes you happy, Ulquiorra."

He stared at her and pressed, "And if I do not know what makes me happy?"

Orihime shrugged helplessly while looking at him, "You will have to find out what you want. I can't speak for you."

Ulquiorra looked at her a moment more before he withdrew from her completely and stood up. She watched, surprised, missing the warmth of his hand.

"I might have known you would say that," he said carefully, his voice sounding weary, "You are right."

He hadn't wanted a realistic answer, she realized. Ulquiorra had wanted an answer that would come from someone like her; an answer that was impossibility to him. He had wanted an Orihime-like answer, and what he had gotten was an Ulquiorra-like answer. But she hadn't been able to muster the strength to believe, not when she had lost so much of her hope as well. Because of the truth, it felt as if he was withdrawing, and she was suddenly fearful. Up until now she had felt some kind of reassurance that he was just as lost as she was, perhaps more so. She had felt less alone then, but now it seemed he too would leave her and her old fears whispered to her. _You are alone, always._

She caught his sleeve desperately, her fingers trembling against his white fabric, and he looked down at her surprised. The next second she eyed her hand and felt sick with herself, quickly withdrawing it and apologizing.

"I'm sorry, I…" her voice broke and she laughed awkwardly to cover it, "I'm still not where I want to be yet…" Her hands curled into her lap and she looked down. "I don't even know what I'm saying. Do what makes you happy? It is more likely that doing what hurts you is what makes you a stronger person." Her eyes burned and next the tears came, falling rapidly down her cheeks. "And I wanted to tell him how I felt. I am still so _foolish_."

The emotions ran as thick as her tears, crushing against her very lungs, and she had forgotten everything but the truth of it all.

"Love shouldn't be like that…forced. It should be natural! I always thought maybe he would return my feelings, but that was so silly and so untrue and I never wanted to believe it." Her voice strained with distress and pain, her arms went about her body as if trying to pull herself together.

Orihime knew she had finally admitted to herself what she had never wanted to; that thing which hid within her heart and darkened her mind. She also knew that now she would never attempt to confess her feelings to the hero again. Orihime did not know where her path led now, but she knew it did not lead towards Ichigo. Unsurprisingly, she felt empty at the realization, and she lowered her hands helplessly, looking into them.

_Where do I go from here?_

Ulquiorra had watched her silently, forgotten it seemed, but he could recognize she struggled with something of her own. He couldn't help but give her a disapproving look at the thought of her in love with the shinigami, but it seemed it was not to be, for reasons that were her own business. But now her face shown in the same way his had at the thought of a shadowed tomorrow, and he knew he should act. She had tried for him, and it had brought about this painful revelation on her part. If anyone could understand, it would be him, as he had said the same about her moments before.

Slowly, he reached into her bubble of despair, passing all boundaries as he had once tried, but failed, to do before, and let his fingers brush underneath her chin to claim her attention. She looked up, as was expected, her face a mix of hurt and wonder as she looked at him, remembering once again that he was there.

"What is it that makes you happy, Inoue Orihime?" His voice was soft, like a caress, and her eyes widened at the impact of the question. Suddenly all of the worry and confusion and pain stopped, and the muddiness in her brain cleared.

The question passed through her mind, and without thinking, the answer presented itself to her, clear and bright and true. The words left her lips almost as suddenly as she realized them.

"Helping people."

All doubt was wiped away at her uttering, and her body hummed with new life and determination. Tomorrow could come now, for she knew her purpose without a doubt. Ulquiorra saw the light return to her eyes so he withdrew his hand and stood.

"Good."

Orihime wiped her eyes frantically, removing the evidence of her tears and feeling silly she had lost herself in despair so easily. Silently, she vowed to herself that she would do better as to not lose her way again.

"It looks like you helped me this time, Ulquiorra," she bemused, looking up at the former espada who met her eyes with a solemn look.

"Perhaps." He looked away then, into the night, and Orihime's face fell. It was as if he was drawing away again, returning to his cold and lonely path and becoming as distant as the moon. It hurt her, seeing him withdraw, and she was suddenly filled with desire to do something.

"Um, Ulquiorra?" she asked, rising to stand next to him. When he turned to look at her she went on, "Do you have any plans?"

He blinked, shifted slightly, and replied, "Not particularly. Why?"

"Well, I was just thinking, since you don't know where to go…you could always come with me. I…I think we can help each other, since we have already anyways. We are…similar, aren't we?"

Ulquiorra cocked his head slightly as he thought about her words. "What are you proposing, woman? That I…stay with you, here in the human world?"

Putting it like that, Orihime felt her cheeks redden slightly, but she nodded and smiled anyways. "If you'd like. I like having guests, since I live alone after all."

There she was, once again ignoring the elephant in the room, but perhaps things didn't always have to be complicated, he mused.

"You shouldn't be ashamed of who you are...and anyways, I don't think you are that person anymore…" Orihime looked at him and calmly took his hand. He watched as his paleness mixed with her warmer color. The last moments of his life as an arrancar had been spent trying to reach this…_her_, and now that he had, why would he wish to give it up if he didn't need to?

"So be it." If she accepted him, that was all he needed, he decided. As if he cared what others might think. In fact, he might enjoy the look of surprise and disapproval they were sure to give him.

"Alright!" she said, swinging his arm playfully and smiling. "I was thinking of redecorating my apartment anyways. What do you think about green and orange?"

She led him back to the hideout of the vizard, chatting aimlessly about things, but he found he enjoyed the noise. He had known silence all of his life as a hollow, and sometimes it was good to differ somewhat. When the two reached the entrance, Orihime stopped him with a hand at his wrist. Looking down, he saw he still wore the bracelet, so he unlatched it and held it out to her.

"It should be yours," was all he said, and she took it with a blush and a grin but didn't ask for him to explain. Somehow she understood his gift was more symbolic in purpose, telling her that he had no need to hide and that she was in control of her own life.

Orihime laid her hand on the door knob and felt the shield flicker away at her touch. The knob turned and she pushed her way in, her hand pulling Ulquiorra along as well.

When the others saw them, all had gone quiet and still, but Orihime had been prepared. She stepped forward her eyes and face determined and she spoke clearly as she said, "Ulquiorra is with me."

Glances were shared, and surprise and disbelief were shown on many faces. One, two, three seconds ticked by, and then something odd happened. As if as a whole, the room breathed slowly as one. The faces turned casual again, people laughed, Shinji turned his jazz music up. Orihime and Ulquiorra looked at each other, somewhat bewildered. But then she smiled and shrugged, and they joined the fun together.

The night was not over, for now time could still stand frozen. The dawn would come eventually, but that could be ignored for now. But perhaps there wasn't anything they needed to fear from the dawn anyways. Now it held new promise.

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A/N: beta'd by a sweetie chu

--Miss Soupy


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